Monday, April 5, 2010

LEATHER GLOVES



BY OLADIMEJI OJO.


To borrow a line from a friend of mine, love is like asking to hold hands with someone in the winter, with your gloves off. I’m sure you’re wondering, why so sappy. Why a sappy article. Well, for the past few weeks, my life has been a little like a soap opera. Articles like this are usually meant for the ladies. This one is for the guys. I know that when you take those gloves off and offer your hand to that person, it feels like the best thing in the world. It feels so right doesn’t it? That sincere declaration of love, the outpouring of emotion, it feels so good, till your fingers get burnt or is it frostbitten.

It could be one of two ways. I still haven’t figured out which hurts the most. When your partner, whoever she is pulls away or when she never takes her gloves off and leaves you standing in the snow, metaphorically, of course.

In the first case, she’s taken your hand, you’re both standing there, palms glued together, each providing the warmth the other needs. Standing in the snow and somehow you’re not cold. The fierce wind doesn’t matter, it doesn’t make you shiver. That other person is there. You’re there watching life go by, stuck in your own little time capsule. To you, nothing could ever go wrong, then she lies to you. Cheats on you, leaves you for a pair of knit gloves. You feel the rip but you don’t believe it. The pain comes later, as each day passes, as each night comes. You’re alone in the snow, slowly freezing to death.

The second case seems worse when you’re younger. You tell her what you think, that you’d love to hold her hand. You spend your money, give her your time. She encourages you, eggs you on. You’re confident nothing can go wrong and that’s when you get stupid, you take off your gloves before she does. You wait for the warmth, for the sense of fulfilment, the safety, the confidence. For that giddiness that made you take off your gloves in the first place to mature into a confident joy. Then, halfway through your expectant smile, you realise her hand will never come. That your 17,000 Naira watch isn’t going to make a difference after all. That your sincerity was worth nothing.

The question is, how do you react. In anger? Lashing out at every lady who makes the mistake of offering her hand to you. In sorrow? Afraid to ever trust again. Sitting shyly in the corner of life waiting for a miracle. In obsession? Watching her from the distance, unable to move on. Or, do you act like a man? Rise and dust yourself off, waiting till you feel your heart overflow with the joy it once felt, and when you do, take your gloves off once again, in the name of love.

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